In A Serious State Of Confusion!

OK, I need some advice. I know I have a penchant to always assume the worst, but even the ever optimisitic Miss Sunshine has been stumped by this one.

So, as you know, I’ve been sunning it up (and I use that term loosely) in Ibiza with Miss Yoyo and Miss Sunshine over the last week. It was a nice holiday, but it’s been somewhat overshadowed by a text I got from Mr Grey. He had his second sitting for his half sleeve tattoo, and he sent me a picture of it. It wasn’t until I got back to the hotel that night that I looked at it properly, and noticed some roman numerals. When I looked at the date, I realised its significance. It’s the date he got married.

Now, he separated from his wife two years ago in bad circumstances. So I can’t understand why he’d want to have the date of his wedding etched forever more onto his skin. Add to that the fact that when I asked what it was, I got swatted away like a fly and I am thoroughly confused. Since then, I’ve barely eaten – all I feel is sick. Am I being used as a distraction for him? Is he still pining for her? Is the fact they’re only separated and not divorced really because of money, or is it something else? They have a LOT of contact and while I know they have to because they have kids, I’m now wondering if having kids might be an excuse for him to have contact. Is it just a map of significant things that have happened in his life? And if so, how am I meant to feel about that? It doesn’t help that he almost rammed the fact that his vasectomy was 100% final down my throat either.

Should I be worried?

I plan to ask these things when I see him, which isn’t for another 4 days. For someone as impatient as me, this is absolute torture and I can’t promise that I’ll hold out until then. I’m not an unreasonable person, but this has thrown me into a state of confusion over where I stand. It’s making me initiate a conversation I didn’t think we needed to have yet. The ‘what is this relationship about’ conversation. I was happy to just go with the flow before, we were getting on well enough and he was the one leading on everything, but now I’m not sure whether I’m coming or going. I don’t think I’ve ever been so confused about anything before. Ever.

I can’t even think about my holiday – this has just overshadowed it for me, and that is not a good thing. Though I did have fun.

I don’t know what to do.

😦

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