**STALKER ALERT**

Maybe slightly extreme. Ok. Remember Mr Clingy? My rebound from last year? Well, he found me on Facebook again thanks to our mutual friends and we had a brief conversation over Facebook messenger. I admit to feeling a bit bad for how I chucked him last year so I took the opportunity to apologise, and basically said I just couldn’t deal with all that intensity. He apologised too and said he didn’t actually want to break up, he just went about it the wrong way by issuing an ultimatum between him and my ex. Which, when the object of your affection is a – rebounding and b – wanting to get back with their ex, is a bad idea. Anywho, we said we’d call it quits – all was well.

Then again, maybe not.

Now that we’re Baitbook friends again, he’s taken to commenting on practically everything I post, in record time, too. Am I on his close friends list or something? It got to the stage where I’ve now added him to my acquaintances list, so I can control what he sees. And before you ask, no, I can’t delete him. I feel really bad deleting anyone from Facebook. I’m a sensitive soul. Since moving him to this list, it’s been good, because my notifications haven’t been blowing up with ‘Mr Clingy commented on this’ or ‘Mr Clingy likes a photo you posted ten fricking years ago’. I told Miss Comeback and Miss Sunshine about it but I don’t think they actually believed me until he liked and commented on a picture Miss Sunshine tagged me in, literally seconds after it was posted. And it was the same last night, when I forgot to change my sharing options on an update – as soon as I posted it, he commented. I actually asked him if he had me on a close friends list because, doesn’t he have anything better to do?

The thing is, we split up A YEAR AGO. We dated for like, two months. I know I’m irresistible but really? (joke). I have no issues with him as a person, he’s a decent guy, but it’s getting to the stage where I want to scream at him to eff the back up and stop smothering me. He knows about Mr Marseilles since he liked my Toulouse pictures and asked why I was there. I might have embellished the truth a bit and said that I was actually in a relationship, but it’s not stopped him. Every other day I’m getting a ‘how are you? x’ message and he’s taken to trying to moan about his problems at me, which he used to do when we were together.

I’m trying to be as nonchalant as I can with him because, if it were me, I’d be thinking ‘wow, Freechick doesn’t want to seem to talk to me AT ALL. Maybe I should just stop torturing myself’ but it doesn’t seem to working. What a palaver.

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The stench of desperation…

What an eventful weekend. Far too much to pack into one blogpost, so let’s talk about Friday. The rest can come later. It was Mr Music’s drinks and he liked his present (phew). But I didn’t get anywhere near him because he has a stalker. When he told me he had a girl on his case, I laughed and kinda shrugged him off in a ‘you wish’ kind of way. Suffice to say, he was not joking. She put my Mr Clingy to shame. As a woman and fellow human being, I cannot even begin to comprehend how someone could not have enough pride to know when to admit defeat and walk away.

this poor bunny is about to be boiled...

From the moment she arrived, Mr Music was cornered. Every time we looked over, she was hanging off him. Literally. Body language is a pretty expressive thing and when the guy you’re physically pawing at is turning away from you and telling you he’s not interested and it’s not going to happen, it’s a sure sign that he is just not that into you. Three times Mr Music asked me to go out for a smoke, to chat cheese and get fresh air. Three times we walked out of the bar. Three times, the Bunny Boiler followed. It got to the stage when we started ignoring her and still, she stuck around. I could understand if this was the result of a recent break up, but no – this is as a result of a fling that happened years ago. Worse, she now has a boyfriend. Doubly worse, she lives with him.

By the end of the night we were all pissed off. It was our friend’s birthday and we’d hardly seen him because she’d been pawing away at him, trying to convince him that she loved him and he loved her. Now, I’d already told her (because she asked what I thought) that he obviously didn’t like her. I can separate my platonic and lustful feelings for him, so it wasn’t sabotage. It was pity. I really pitied this woman who so clearly didn’t see what everyone else could. I’d already told her that he’s not paying her any attention and she should let it go. As we left the bar, she went a bit doollally and laid into him. And that’s when things got really, really awkward because I’ll never stand and watch a mate get spoken to like that, especially since he’d been pretty clear the whole night. So I stuck up for him and yes, I might have been a touch rude. I’ll always have his back and I told him so. But mostly, I was hungry. It was the end of the night, we wanted to eat and go our separate ways, but me and my friend could see that this woman was not taking no for an answer. And when she said ‘I thought I could sleep on your floor’, I looked at Mr Music’s bewildered blue eyes and cringed inside. The ridiculous thing was, she said to me and my friend ‘I’m really not a desperate woman’ – clearly that was not the case. My friend and I had even reached the stage of thinking drastic action was needed. I was seriously considering pulling him right in front of her because surely that would have got the message across? And OK, there’d have been something in it for me too. However, I’m not that much of a bitch and in the end, she got shooed away while Mr Music and I collected our food, leaving us to eat and finally go home.

It’s well known that desperation is like man-repellant, but this was off the scale. It was pure Glenn Close, Fatal Attraction, Bunny Boiling antics. I can’t believe that I was in such a tizzy over a couple of texts I’d sent him a while back because compared to her, I was tame. It was funny, I couldn’t not laugh. But I was also mightily fucked off. Mr Music and I had made plans to carry the night on, and through a combination of bad luck and his stalker, it didn’t happen, and who knows when we’ll meet up again. The crazy girls are the ones who fuck it up for the rest of us but one thing I do know, is that I don’t partake in stalker-ish behaviour. Mr Music has a way with the lady-folk, even though he doesn’t understand why. At least I’ll be going into whatever may or may not happen with my eyes open – no way am I ending up like the crazy stalker lady. But this isn’t the first time he’s had girls go crazy over him. He must have a cock made of gold or chocolate something. Hmmm…

Beware of the Bull


The horns are out!

I’ve been on something of a rampage today. I don’t know if its my hormones or whatever, but I’m the definition of the a bull being enraged by a red flag. Horns out, hooves stomping, steam billowing from the nostrils – the whole shebang.

First of all, those tickets I’d bought to see The Maccabees? 99% sure I’ve been scammed. I’ve secured tickets elsewhere but that is not the point. I don’t understand scammers, I put my trust in people far too easily. Lesson learned. Very rude message left for the arse-wiping con-man. Karma is a bitch, he’ll get his.

Second, I’d spent most of my day at work being unproductive through no fault of my own. Stupid computers meant I’d spent my morning sat around doing sweet F.A which would have been fine if I didn’t actually have work to do.

Yes, I turned it on and off again, dammit!!

Third, I’ve decided to cool off on Mr Music. I can’t say why – nothing specific has happened. Maybe that’s the problem. I’m in that strange phase in my cycle where I turn into something of a nympho and Mr Music is just being far too slow. I change my mind like the wind and right now, I can’t be bothered trying to ‘out-aqua’ an Aquarius. He still gives me butterflies and I still feel like a heady teenager, but its just too much effort right now. Maybe it’s too soon to make that move with him anyway, given that I actually ‘like’ him, as in he’s, relationship material.  If he’s a true Aquarius he’ll be super logical and probably coming to the same conclusion that I need to fully get my ex out of my system (not that I’ve even given him so much as a second thought for a while now). I’m so changeable that even if Mr Music does invite me out for his birthday, I’ll probably shelve my seduction plan because of how I feel right now. Probably. Don’t quote me on that.

Hmm.

Maybe I should do what everyone keeps telling me to do and get me an FWB or sleep with a load of unsuitable men. God knows its been long enough. Should I take up my fellow Taurean friend’s offer? He’s definitely not backwards in coming forward and I’ll admit, it’s nice to be pursued in such a persistent manner. Unless he goes psycho-stalker, which is not cool.

I need to do something. Going from having sex on tap to nothing is just crap, and on my astrology learning path, one thing I keep reading is that the last thing anyone should do is deny a Taurus a romp in the hay. Too bloody right. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling so all over the place. Maybe I just need a good seeing to and then I’ll go back to being the peaceful, tender, sensual being us Bull Girls are famous for being.