No Friend, no Benefits

Sigh. Today I’ve found myself in the position of being FWB-less. Dang it! I spoke to Mr Soldier earlier, and apparently he’s trying to get back with his ex. Good for him, sucks for me.

It isn’t the end of the world. I’ve been able to get my kicks in a small way, so I can’t complain. I do wonder about wanting to get back with an ex though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wanted to get back with my ex but with hindsight it would have been a bad, bad move. After all, relationships end for a reason. I see my ex often enough but he works with his every day and from what I gather they’re still good friends.

So it’s good luck to Mr Soldier and good luck to me with finding another means to get my rocks off.

Ok Friend, where are my Benefits??

I’m not a happy bunny. Mr Soldier is back on Saturday but the chances of us hooking up are getting slimmer. After a week of sexting and dirty pictures, he may not be able to meet after all. Goddammit!!

I know things are complicated. We both live with family and neither of our parents go out much but for God sake. I’m fricking horny over here. He suggested next weekend but it’ll be that time of the month again where my lovely Aunt Flo comes to town and I need a fix NOW.

When I told him I was less than impressed he actually had the nerve to ask for more pictures. Get real. He’s in a serious picture deficit as it is so I told him he could hold his breath. And I wasn’t joking.

Am I being silly here? Surely FWB’s is supposed to be a mutually beneficial arrangement? I mean, it’s been a month already! I may have to go find myself someone who’s a touch more reliable because it feels like I’m getting no strings but no sex either.

I’m out tomorrow night for yet another leaving do, where Mr Music will be making an appearance – remember him? He’s still in my bad books, not least because he hasn’t bothered to respond to my mass email to those who helped with my book, thanking them and letting them know about the review I received. What the eff is that about? Im insanely angry with him because it’s just not how he would’ve acted a few months ago before I let him know that I liked him.

That being said, I’m horny enough to overlook my anger and let him tap my ass anyway. Get my leg over and get back out again. They say angry sex is the best – it would be a first for me.

Sigh. It’s looking like my coochie will be left alone for some time. If there was such a thing as female blueballs I’d say I definitely have a case of it! 😦

And that’s just crap.


The rules of no strings sex…

Since I decided to hook up with Mr Soldier, things have progressed a bit, though not in the way I’d originally thought. We were supposed to hook up today but it didn’t happen. I think we’re meant to meet tomorrow instead. The thing that’s making me think is that we’ve been text messaging all week. And I mean, all week.

It is slightly complicated, given that he’s a friend already that I’ve known for years and we used to speak quite often. So it would be weird to cut that general banter off now just because we’ve decided to sleep together, right? I am a naturally chatty person and I’m a natural flirt. The problem is that I seem to have met my match with Mr Soldier. He seems to have a comeback for everything I say and it leads to long bouts of text tennis, the kind that I only engage in when I actually like someone. He knows I’m not looking for a boyfriend, I’ve made that as clear as cut glass, and he’s told me that his past FWB’s have dropped off because they wanted more than he was prepared to give, but still I’m stumped as to what the correct etiquette is.

Then there’s the question of what on earth to expect when we do hook up. I’m not the most sexually confident person in the world (though I am working on it) and I can be quite shy. The whole point of this is to unleash my inner sex goddess (ha!) but it means I’m going to have to really push past my mental barriers when we meet. The point isn’t to go round to his, stick the kettle on and have a chinwag before we get down and dirty. I’d love to be able to waltz in there and pounce straight away. Unlikely. It’s ridiculous. I feel like I’m a teenager again, wondering whether he’ll like my blowjobs or my boobs. Why am I thinking of this stuff? Realistically I know he probably wont care a jot, but I do.

I think the key to this ‘relationship’ is going to be for me to be selfish. I naturally give too much and end up feeling exposed, so this will be new for me. He’s someone that I know and trust, so that should help. Hopefully once the first time’s out of the way I’ll be less bothered about the small stuff.

I’s a naughty chick…

Or at least, I’ve decided to be. Yes, I’ve decided to take up my friend’s offer of no-strings naughty nookie. I’ll call him Mr Soldier. The idea of seeing him in his combats is putting me in a spin…but it wasn’t just the uniform that made me make this decision.

I’ve known him for a long time, about 11 years. He was my friend’s kid brother and for some reason, I always thought he was younger than me. I tend to forget that most of my mates are a little older than I am, but it turns out he’s a year older than me. I’d thought he was about 25/26 with no real job other than training to become a soldier, but it turns out he works at a special needs school during the day. Kinda made me go, awww. Add to this the fact that he’s got a filthier tongue and imagination than I have and I was pretty much swayed.

As a twist of fate, my car decided to almost die on me after a fabulous weekend up in Hertfordshire with my friend. My mechanic’s garage is a mere few minutes walk away from Mr Soldier’s house. Two birds, one stone. Let the fun begin.