Well, I have no substantial update following my last post. Mr Grey and I have spoken briefly – and I mean briefly – but not about his tattoo. We were supposed to meet on Sunday and then I gave him the option to rearrange. Why? Because if he’s that tetchy and stressed then I need to time my interrogation well. Which means I’ve gone a whole week without questioning him.
I know to some this isn’t a long time, but for me, it’s major. Everything about me is immediate. I hate waiting. I also hate not being in control of my emotions. I am a massive control freak and going from ‘I’m going to dump him’ to ‘I’m going to slap him’ to ‘I need to talk to him now’ to ‘I’ll give him his space til he’s calmed the fuck down’ has been trying to say the least. That said, I feel immensely proud of myself for not contacting him over the weekend until he contacted me.
I’m being far too considerate of his feelings. He doesn’t know I’ve been in this turmoil for the past week but you can bet your bottom dollar when I do actually speak to him, he bloody will do. I’ve cancelled our maybe date later this week too because I just can’t handle meeting up with him when I’m feeling like this if his mind won’t be there.
And so I have one last test of my patience. Wait until next week when I promise myself that come what may, I’ll be meeting and questioning the daylights out of him. The fact I’m willing to do this speaks volumes to anyone who knows me about how I feel, because this is definitely not normal Freechick behaviour.
If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll recognise this.
Ok I’m not a happy bunny today. I was supposed to be meeting with Mr Double-Barrel after nearly 2 weeks since I saw him last. This morning I got a message cancelling due to work commitments. I’m not in the business of being cancelled on twice and I told him so (with a bit of sugar coating). He apologised and said he’d been really looking forward to seeing me blah, blah, blah. But I thought, fair enough. Life gets in the way and we all need money to survive, so I said fine, but don’t keep me waiting another two weeks, to which he replied he wouldn’t.
One of the things I was going to talk to him about when we met up was this festival abroad. I’d spoken to him last week and said I was up for going. The response I got was positive and that they were trying to book flights and accommodation as quickly as possible. All was well, I thought, so I booked my ticket, not wanting to miss out if they sold out by leaving it too long. Knowing that we wouldn’t now meet until some yet to be determined date, I asked him if he was definitely going. The reply? Yes. He’s booked his flights with his mate and his missus, as well as one of his friends who also happens to be an ex. From what I gather they’re still pretty friendly. I left it a good while before replying with a nonchalant but pissed off ‘right. Ok’
If it were me, I’d have thought, I should let Freechick know because she wants to come. Now I know that men and women think differently but come on. To give him his due, he doesn’t know I’ve booked my ticket yet as I was waiting to see if it was worth my while to go, but even still, booking flights would’ve prompted me to ask if I were still interested in going.
I don’t like to be kept waiting, trifled with or played. There’s only so much sweet talking that’s going to win me over. Of course there’s the possibility that it’s really not how it all sounds etc but I don’t suffer fools gladly. He’s on the end of a plank and he’s in severe danger of being pushed off. If he’s not interested in anything other than a bunk up I’d rather he just tell me so I don’t end up wasting my time.
From here on out I’m not contacting him. It feels like I’m the one making all the effort and at this stage it should very much be a mutual thing, so he can contact me.
He’d better tread carefully.
I have a horrible, horrible personality trait. It’s called impatience. Anyone who knows me knows this. If I want something I want it like yesterday. When I wanted my last tattoo, I drew it and got it done the next day. When I wanted my lip re-pierced, I had it done within 24 hours (I’d have done it on the same day but I was a bit tipsy). Being impulsive is in my blood.
They say patience is a virtue and if that’s the case then I’m definitely one virtue down. If I decide to do something, I do it, and if I don’t get the opportunity to do it within a few days, I’ll drop the idea until my next round of impulsiveness. Right now, my three ‘wants’ are:
- My holiday. After spending yesterday looking at flights and stuff for a week in Ibiza, I want to book it like, NOW. I don’t want to have to wait another couple of weeks until payday because…well, because I don’t want to. I want to get the flights booked so I know that my first girls holiday (shocking at the age of almost 28) is definitely happening. That and I want to book tickets to see David Guetta at Pacha.
- I want the guy I bought tickets off to see The Maccabees next week to hurry up and send them because I don’t want to have been ripped off.
- I want Mr Music to arrange his bloody birthday drinks already, I don’t want to have to wait much longer because a – I’m beginning to think I maybe imagined what happened last weekend and b – I’m bloody horny.
It’s not a good thing to be so impatient all the time, I know. I generally hate waiting around for other people because I tend to do things straight away and I find it hard to comprehend the way other people can be so aloof about stuff. I don’t get why some people are sooo slow. Like, why does it take five minutes to get money out the cash machine? You put your card in, enter your PIN, select the amount, grab the money and go. Yesterday the woman in front me was standing there for ages. Was she mentally calculating how much she’d spent over the last few days, because there’s a mini-statement option that will calculate that for you. Grrr.
Having said that, my impatience can be a bloody great thing too. I go after what I want and I bloody well get it, I don’t wait for it to be handed to me, which I think is a valuable life lesson.
If only all these things could just hurry up and arrive…