No Friend, no Benefits

Sigh. Today I’ve found myself in the position of being FWB-less. Dang it! I spoke to Mr Soldier earlier, and apparently he’s trying to get back with his ex. Good for him, sucks for me.

It isn’t the end of the world. I’ve been able to get my kicks in a small way, so I can’t complain. I do wonder about wanting to get back with an ex though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wanted to get back with my ex but with hindsight it would have been a bad, bad move. After all, relationships end for a reason. I see my ex often enough but he works with his every day and from what I gather they’re still good friends.

So it’s good luck to Mr Soldier and good luck to me with finding another means to get my rocks off.


Ok Friend, where are my Benefits??

I’m not a happy bunny. Mr Soldier is back on Saturday but the chances of us hooking up are getting slimmer. After a week of sexting and dirty pictures, he may not be able to meet after all. Goddammit!!

I know things are complicated. We both live with family and neither of our parents go out much but for God sake. I’m fricking horny over here. He suggested next weekend but it’ll be that time of the month again where my lovely Aunt Flo comes to town and I need a fix NOW.

When I told him I was less than impressed he actually had the nerve to ask for more pictures. Get real. He’s in a serious picture deficit as it is so I told him he could hold his breath. And I wasn’t joking.

Am I being silly here? Surely FWB’s is supposed to be a mutually beneficial arrangement? I mean, it’s been a month already! I may have to go find myself someone who’s a touch more reliable because it feels like I’m getting no strings but no sex either.

I’m out tomorrow night for yet another leaving do, where Mr Music will be making an appearance – remember him? He’s still in my bad books, not least because he hasn’t bothered to respond to my mass email to those who helped with my book, thanking them and letting them know about the review I received. What the eff is that about? Im insanely angry with him because it’s just not how he would’ve acted a few months ago before I let him know that I liked him.

That being said, I’m horny enough to overlook my anger and let him tap my ass anyway. Get my leg over and get back out again. They say angry sex is the best – it would be a first for me.

Sigh. It’s looking like my coochie will be left alone for some time. If there was such a thing as female blueballs I’d say I definitely have a case of it! 😦

And that’s just crap.


An absent friend with benefits

Sometimes I really hate Sundays, particularly when the suns out because it makes me feel horny. Right now I’d like to be wandering around my lovely city, grabbing a bite to eat and then indulging in some misbehaviour. This is what sucks about being single. I can’t even call up Mr Soldier because he’s now away for his phase 2 army training. For 2 weeks.

2 weeks!! I’ve grown so used to the dirty picture swapping/naughty text messages that now I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s gonna be a loooooooong 2 weeks


Beware of the Bull

The horns are out!

I’ve been on something of a rampage today. I don’t know if its my hormones or whatever, but I’m the definition of the a bull being enraged by a red flag. Horns out, hooves stomping, steam billowing from the nostrils – the whole shebang.

First of all, those tickets I’d bought to see The Maccabees? 99% sure I’ve been scammed. I’ve secured tickets elsewhere but that is not the point. I don’t understand scammers, I put my trust in people far too easily. Lesson learned. Very rude message left for the arse-wiping con-man. Karma is a bitch, he’ll get his.

Second, I’d spent most of my day at work being unproductive through no fault of my own. Stupid computers meant I’d spent my morning sat around doing sweet F.A which would have been fine if I didn’t actually have work to do.

Yes, I turned it on and off again, dammit!!

Third, I’ve decided to cool off on Mr Music. I can’t say why – nothing specific has happened. Maybe that’s the problem. I’m in that strange phase in my cycle where I turn into something of a nympho and Mr Music is just being far too slow. I change my mind like the wind and right now, I can’t be bothered trying to ‘out-aqua’ an Aquarius. He still gives me butterflies and I still feel like a heady teenager, but its just too much effort right now. Maybe it’s too soon to make that move with him anyway, given that I actually ‘like’ him, as in he’s, relationship material.  If he’s a true Aquarius he’ll be super logical and probably coming to the same conclusion that I need to fully get my ex out of my system (not that I’ve even given him so much as a second thought for a while now). I’m so changeable that even if Mr Music does invite me out for his birthday, I’ll probably shelve my seduction plan because of how I feel right now. Probably. Don’t quote me on that.


Maybe I should do what everyone keeps telling me to do and get me an FWB or sleep with a load of unsuitable men. God knows its been long enough. Should I take up my fellow Taurean friend’s offer? He’s definitely not backwards in coming forward and I’ll admit, it’s nice to be pursued in such a persistent manner. Unless he goes psycho-stalker, which is not cool.

I need to do something. Going from having sex on tap to nothing is just crap, and on my astrology learning path, one thing I keep reading is that the last thing anyone should do is deny a Taurus a romp in the hay. Too bloody right. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling so all over the place. Maybe I just need a good seeing to and then I’ll go back to being the peaceful, tender, sensual being us Bull Girls are famous for being.