A Jubilant Jubilee Weekend

One of the best things about being British is our penchant to celebrate everything. I definitely wouldn’t class myself as a royalist but thanks to Queen Liz being on the throne for like, ever, we got a four day weekend to celebrate her diamond jubilee. And what a weekend! Where to start?

I swooned over a work colleague who doesn’t warrant a name in the blog yet, but he’s a looker alright. On Sunday I met up with my girlies all at the same time. Nothing new right? Well my friends have never met each other until now, we tend to meet up separately, but since we’re going on holiday together I thought it was about time. So myself, Miss Sunshine, Miss Yoyo and Miss America met up for lunch and I think it went very well! We were meant to all go shopping together but schedules got in the way, as ever. When I finally got home at around 9pm I got a text message.

Introducing Mr Pensive. He’s a security guard from my work who I’ve been eyeing up for a while. He managed to find me on Facebook and we swapped a few messages and it turns out he lives 4 streets away from me. So he asked me out for a drink. At first I thought ‘I can’t be arsed’. It was late and I was tired. But then I thought ‘fuck it, why not’ and so I went to meet him. To say he’s cute is an understatement. About 6 foot 4, brown hair, nice eyes. And 24 years old. Another young ‘un. Oh dear. It won’t go anywhere. The spark wasn’t there though I’m not sure if he’s just shy or his English second tongue was a hindrance. But he’s very sweet, walked me home and gave me a peck on the cheek. We’ll see.

Monday I had drinks with some girls from work organised by Miss Effervescent, who organises our girls nights out. Cue 7 hours of 8 girls occupying a corner of a pub. And lots and lots of fun! Too much food, too much wine and one very hot barman. Seriously I could have dragged him outside there and then, he was that hot. Aussie, blonde/brown hair, cheeky smile and a great arse. When we left I gave him my number. I must be getting bold in my old age.

There’s a saying that things always happen when you least expect it, and it’s true. I didn’t expect to get a text from Mr Music asking me out for drinks, but I got one anyway. Imagine that. So after our drinks with the girls I headed up to meet him and his flatmate. Long story short, it was a repeat of how it always is with him. Lots of talk about not wanting to ruin our friendship because it’s one of the few he values, blah blah blah. I just wanted to get laid. I didn’t. We went back to his, fooled around and then decided that actually, having sex might just push it too far. Come morning I got up, made myself a coffee and fully intended on sneaking out. And then he woke up, asked for a cuddle and apologised for being an arse. I told him not to worry about it, I know he’s an arse. And cue more fumbling. And last minute backing off. If I had balls they’d be bright blue. I left and haven’t spoken to him since, nor do I intend to. I’m treating this like a guy would and I’m not about to obsess or over analyse what we spoke about. Though I think I must’ve been on heat because I was noticing hot guys everywhere. When I met Mr Music, the most gorgeous American made conversation with us. He was tall, very tall, with tousled curly brown hair and the most piercing blue eyes I’ve ever seen. We lost him in the packed out bar though, which was a shame. I blame it all on Fifty Shades of Grey. Yes, I’m reading it, don’t judge me. I need a Christian Grey in my life is all I can say.

And as for Mr Double-Barrel? I’ve decided to cut my losses. I’ve had enough of the analysis and uncertainty. I’ve not blogged about him since I met his friends but that’s a whole other post by itself. Suffice it to say, I think he’s playing games. So I intend to speak to him and see what he has to say for himself.

And now I’m getting ready for a trip to Ireland where I hope to meet with NaughtyLittleSecrets (check out her blog). If anything it will give me some time away from my mental gymnastics about Mr Double-Barrel because I’ll be going off-comms. Can’t come quickly enough!

Advertisements

The Laws of Attraction…

I had a very interesting thought today after reading a fellow blogger’s post. Someone had asked for an opinion on how a guy would know if a girl was still into him, and the reply she gave was very different to mine. Neither of us were right or wrong, but it did get me thinking about how on earth guys are really meant to know how we feel about them if we don’t communicate it with words.

Having looked online, the most common signs that a female is flirting with you are:

  • smiling
  • physical contact e.g. touching a guys arm while laughing at his joke
  • playing with hair/fidgeting with something
  • mimicking body movements
  • isolating herself

This, to me, is nothing new. It’s almost like a second nature to know certain ‘tells’ when someone likes you through a combination of personal experience and media influences. But what if you don’t behave in this way? Like, for instance, me.

It may be that my judgement is being clouded by the image of a sweet, demure girl twiddling her hair and throatily laughing at a guys crap jokes, but my style of flirting can be quite…well…confusing for a guy I think. I can be really quite sharp. My sense of humour is what you’d call caustic and even though I’ll smile when I’m giving you some acidic remarks, it wouldn’t surprise me if some guys had zero idea that I was flirting with them. I’ll always retort, usually sarcastically. I love a good battle of the minds. That, to me, is my biggest ‘tell’. If I’m giving you the time of day and we’re exchanging in a game of verbal tennis that would put Serena and Venus Williams to shame, you can almost guarantee I fancy the pants off you.

Not only am I quite insulting, but my version of bodily contact is more likely to be in the form of me swatting your arm, upside the head or shoving into you than anything else. A bit like a little boy would tug on a little girls hair if he fancied her. Clearly, I’m a wee bit strange. I don’t isolate myself either. If a guy is going to make a move on me, he’d better be comfortable approaching me no matter what group I’m with. Doesn’t mean we have to stand in the middle of my friends while we talk, but don’t expect me to sidle off the corner of the room like a damsel in distress. If we’re talking one to one and we’re in a loud place, chances are, I wont even be looking at you. I’ll have my ear as close to your mouth as possible while I’m looking in the other direction. Why? Because personally, I like to use as many of my senses as possible. I want to hear your voice, I want to feel your breath. I’m not bothered about staring intently as your plump lips open for you to say something brilliant.

I’ll accept the smiling and fidgety behaviour, I think that’s fairly normal. Who talks to someone without smiling if they’re attracted to them? And who would sit stock still chatting to someone? It’s pretty rare. But it still doesn’t detract from the fact that even though you can display the tell-tale signs, you can so easily confuse a guy if your style of flirting is a little off, like mine. Unless you find someone who flirts back in the same way, and that’s where the fun is, for me anyway. We’re all human and to some extent we will all use the same body language when placed in a certain situation, but my advice to any guys out there…just make a move. Trust your gut. What’s the worst that could happen?

Hangovers, Cuddles and Seduction…

Just when you think things are going smoothly, someone comes along comes and throws everything out of kilter. Friday night saw me out for drinks after work, something I rarely used to indulge in, but it was a double leaving do – it would’ve been rude not to! And, OK, I had an ulterior motive. A friend, I’ll call him Mr Music, who I’ve suddenly found myself lusting over for the past few months, was also going to be there. Add to the fact that things had got a little…strange over the past few weeks and I had to find out what the hell was going on. After some texts were exchanged, he’d disappeared and I ended up feeling like a total twat.

One of the things I love about being single is that I can go out, shake my booty and have a drink without thinking ‘I have to be home at xpm’ which is what I was used to. Knowing that I had nobody to think about or go home to was probably one of the things that made my night as good as it was. Sad, perhaps, but true nonetheless.

I’d met an old workmate I’d not seen for years and as we were catching up, in walks my friend, Mr Music, with his cheeky smile as if nothing had gone awry between us. I’ve been getting into astrology recently and he’s an aquarius. One thing I’ve learned is that aquarians don’t do pressure. So, I ignored him. Well, I waved hello, motioned we’d catch up later, but then ignored him pretty much and concentrated on the old workmate I was with. A couple of hours later, the air was cleared and we were back to our normal flirty selves. A few cocktails and cheeky shots of Jager and we were on the dancefloor. And just when I thought we were back to being friends with basically no intimacy, he pinned me down (not literally, I wish!) on the sofa in the bar and we chatted. He doesn’t want to get hurt, I tell him not every person is going to hurt you. He tells me I’m pretty fabulous, I smiled and said, ‘I know’. I’d told him I’d got him a birthday present, a thoughtful one, and after pressing me, I told him what it was. Which I’m pretty annoyed about now, but at least I know he’ll like it and I think he was¬†genuinely¬†taken aback in a nice way when I told him what it was. It was one of those really weird, surreal conversations that you only get when you’re half-cut. Honestly, I can’t remember all of it because all I was aware of was how damned close he was to my neck. Send a tingle down my neck and I’m pretty much yours. So, with the heat of his breath and all that good stuff, I was only half listening.

In the end, we left, without even saying goodbye to our friends. He wanted a kebab and I wasn’t going to say no and when he invited me back to his, I accepted. With this guy, I know he values my friendship more than anything else, so when he said purely platonic, I knew that’s what it would be. That, and the fact that Aunt Flo’s in town meant nothing else was going to happen. It’s funny, I think my pheromones draw him in because most times we meet up, including the last time which did end in some fumbling, was not the right time for me. In any case, we got a cab, went back to his, ate and slept. Yep, not even a snog. He did pull my head onto his chest, which was nice, but seconds later he was snoring his lovely head off.

Now, hangovers aren’t nice. I was teetotal for about 8 years and I’m still not great with the roughness of the next morning, but I woke up first, tiptoed to the loo so as not to wake his housemate and tried to go back to sleep, ignoring the fact that my head felt like a sledgehammer was being wedged into it and my feet hurt something rotten. When he (finally) woke up, he stuck a DVD on and indulged me in some cuddle time. This is a man who doesn’t do soppy. At all. But he has this way of making me feel like when we’re together, he’s totally in the moment. Could I have kissed him? Absolutely. Would he have kissed me back? No doubt about it. One of the things we’d both laid bare the night before was that we both fancied the hell out of each other and at some point, sparks are going to fly. But even so, not a single drop of bodily fluids were swapped. I loved that I could just lay with him, without having to think about anything at all. I’d thought he’d maybe forgotten about the last night we’d spent together, but he’d said certain things that I thought he’d be too drunk to remember. And when the time came to get dressed, there was no awkwardness. Never mind the fact that our limbs had literally been tangled all morning or that he’d seen my stupidly wayward morning hair and puffy eyes. We got the tube together – him to go to meet his mates and me to go home and sleep.

But now, I cannot get this guy out of my head. It’s ridiculous, because we’d go for months without speaking before. But now he’s occupying a space in my mind that I can’t get him out of. When his birthday finally arrives, he has to be prepared because this going to be a targeted seduction. It’s something I’ve never set out to do before, but believe me, I got the lingerie, the perfume, the outfit. It’s the only thing I can think of to satisfy this itch and based on our past couple of encounters I think it’s fair to say we’ll have fun.

Of course, there is the question of whether things will change when (not if) I finally get him into the bedroom. I’d hate for our friendship to change in a bad way and I know that’s what he’s scared of too. Having said that, it’s been 4 years of flirting and heavy banter, and a good 6/7 months of mutual attraction, and that’s a long enough wait, thank you very much. For now though, as far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t exist unless he contacts me first. I’ve learnt not to over-text this aquarius man and if this is anything to go by, the thrill is definitely in the chase. Of course, it does mean I’ll have to unleash my intensity when I see him next instead of in a steady stream over the next few weeks, provided he doesn’t suddenly change heart or meet the love of his life. Hope he knows what he’s in for.

TV appearances, fit men and placentas….

What a great day. Just to reinforce one of the points I made yesterday, friends are great. I haven’t done anything particularly fantastic today, but a friend of mine did, and just seeing her happy has made today fab. She appeared on prime time breakfast TV this morning, promoting her line of work. Suffice to say, she did well. She didn’t come across as some bra-less, mental hippy type, but the sophisticated young mum that she is. Meeting her for lunch afterwards left me in a fantastic mood because I could see how buoyed up she was.

But, her TV appearance wasn’t the only thing to perk up my day. The fact she also invited along her super fit friend provided some very welcome eye candy. And man, was he delicious. Dark hair, lovely green eyes – killer combo. I thought my ‘flirting’ attempts were rusty and this was only reinforced when my friend told me that I wasn’t actually flirting. Oh dear. Something else to add to the list for 2012 – finding my inner Siren, and I’m hoping I get plenty of practice at that.

It’s the little things that can make a person happy. It’s payday, I had a nice lunch and I’m now devouring a family size bar of hazelnut Dairy Milk as I watch One Born Every Minute. Add to that the fact I’m looking into my summer holiday, things can’t get much better. I’ve never done a girls holiday before and this year it has to happen. Ibiza, Malia – who cares where? As long as I’ve got my girls, the ones who’ve helped me so much over the last few months, weeks and days, I’ll be a happy chick.