Re-assimilation sucks. So why do it?

So, I’m back. In fact I’ve been back for about 3 weeks now. It sucks. I miss the sunshine, I miss the food, I miss the friends I made. I miss not having to wake up to an alarm every day. I miss the peace and quiet. These statements should covey the fact that I had an AWESOME time. Just brilliant – so much better than I ever expected it to be, and I had a lot of time to think about what I want and all that big stuff. Having to come back to a job that bores me is not my idea of fun. So, it’s been a pretty busy few weeks.

First off, I’ve picked up my art again, and I’m loving it. So much so that I’m actually gonna try and sell some. Why not? See how it goes…if other people can do it then I can at least try. It seems a shame for them to just sit in my sketchbooks in my wardrobe for the rest of their days and it’s not like I’m expecting to become a millionaire or anything with them. So far, the feedback from my social circle has been good, so we’ll see if they’re all talking bullshit soon. The proof is in the pudding, as they say.

Second, and perhaps, the biggest piece of news, is that I’m planning another trip. Woohoo! This week I will be booking a ticket to Goa, to leave in January. I’ve put in my 6 month career break application but I’ve already told my boss that I’m going, even if it’s rejected. I was hugely inspired by the people I met in France (and yes, one was a man, but nothing to go into really as yet). I met a lot of people who were doing the very things I’ve always wanted to do. They did what they loved all day, and travelled while doing it. I’m not a musician and while I like to draw, I’m yet to be convinced I could call myself an artist, but the travelling aspect was what got me. They live in Goa (some in Varanassi) in winter and when I sighed and said ‘I’d love to go there’, one of them asked ‘what’s stopping you?’

I couldn’t really answer it. Ok, so I have a job, a well paid job at that. And friends, and family. But otherwise I have no boyfriend/husband/children/mortgage. The only thing stopping me was myself. I thought about it for a while, but it wasn’t until I got back to London that I made my mind up. Being back at work feels like I’m destroying my soul. Sounds dramatic, but it’s true. If it was a job I was passionate about (or simply not bored of) then I’m sure the reaction would be much less acute, but this is my situation. My debts are very nearly all paid off, and I have the offer of paid, remote admin work a day or two a week while I’m away from Mr Arrogant, so I should still have some income. Other than that, I’ve not planned much at all. I planned to the nth degree in France and it didn’t go according to plan in some aspects – but it made it so much more fun and flexible. And for a control freak like me, it will be a good exercise in being a bit more relaxed with the security of knowing there are people that I know in the same country at least.

So, yeah. That’s my news. On the man front, there is the guy I mentioned earlier, with whom nothing happened but I’ve been chatting to ever since. Sometimes for 12 hours straight or more about all sorts of things – not least stuff to get me excited about my trip (they’ll be there from December). It’s kind of nice to just take a step back from the men-folk though. I don’t want anyone or anything to hold me back.

Exciting times.


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