Bit Broken

So there’s been email exchanges between me and The Frenchman. As has been the theme throughout, they were nice and friendly, considered and without nasty displays of emotional madness.

I think the thing that’s got to me the most, is that I had a taste of something really good. In his email, he described our relationship as something out of a film. He’s never been as happy with a woman and he didn’t think a woman would be able to do what I did for him. It was the most exciting period of his life and something he could live with for the rest of his life. But he doesn’t want a relationship and he doesn’t want to be in love. It wasn’t this that choked me. It was when he said he was when he said he was glad to have given me happiness and he was sorry for any pain he’s caused me.

What hurts is that it wasn’t enough. That there could have been this fairy tale happiness but at the end of the day, it wasn’t enough. I’m genuinely gutted still. He’s someone I want to keep in my life that’s for sure, but right now it feels very raw.

Think I’m going to lay low for a while.


19 thoughts on “Bit Broken

  1. That;s is really bad idea to keep communicating with him, especially given how much you are emotional person.

    Not to be rude but for him he made his decision about your in his life. Be polite and nice to people who did not string you for months and did not lie to you.

    You are much better off moving on.

    Bring us some new adventures! πŸ˜›

    • You’re not being rude, I’m glad he didn’t string me along. I am an emotional person, but I’m also the kind of person who can put a stop to emotions if I want to (the ex is a perfect case in point). Definitely not saying we’ll be bosom buddies but I’d hate to not have him as a friend. I already feel a gazillion times better than I did.

      New adventures…well. The sun’s coming out to play here which means a busier social life I hope.

  2. Not the goddamn Frenchman again! I thought you killed him or something or finally forgot about him. We need to dispatch some men over to London to get your mind off this guy! I’ll contact some Pick-Up Artists to hunt you down (as I promised a while ago) and seduce you.

  3. I’m such a perfectionist. Serious typo in one paragraph. Here is the correction:

    He was and is more than happy to have you be in love with him. He treasured and honored the commitment and sacrifice you made for him, but is not willing or able to reciprocate. He is in short a taker.

  4. I am truly sorry for your loss. I can say I understand from my own experience where you are at and where he is at. If you have been reading my blog you will find many posts about my ex that mirror yours in the emotional structure.

    He was and is more than happy to have you be in love with him. He treasured and honored the commitment and sacrifice he made for you, but is not willing or able to reciprocate. He is in short a taker.

    Please do not fall into the trap that this is your problem. It is his. You deserve to find someone who is as commited to your happiness and fulfillment as you are to his. This is a painful time, nothing can change that except more time.

    I am truly sorry you had to experiance this in your life. Your writing flows with passion and purpose that shows the depth of your character and potential as a lover, mate, mother, and wife.

    I look forward to hearing more of your life. The email notices of new blogs always the bright part of my day.



    • Aw thank you. Brought a tear to my eye then. I’m clearly emotional right now! I’m trying not to dwell or blame myself. We shared something beautiful, and I know I can find it again….time really is a healer – I know that after leaving my Ex. We’ll see.

      Glad you and Little Miss are still going strong πŸ™‚


      • We are. Long Distance Relationships are very hard, but each week we grow closer and closer. Naturally sometimes that means fights, we work through them. She is still the love of my life. I can honestly say I never truly felt love for a woman until her. She is the first woman who I have wanted to become a better person for. Areas of my life, flaws in my character that I had always accepted as ‘Part of Me’ I now find my go. Not because she asks, and really she doesn’t but because the strength of my love and commitment to her compells me. I hope it never ends.

        With Regards


  5. Awww honeybunch. So sorry. Why are some men like this?? They have this amazing gift of love given to them, they acknowledge how amazing and life-changing and wonderful it is, eulogise about it, tell you how wonderful you were – and then THROW IT AWAY because they don’t actually want it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM? Feeling like you’re not enough utterly sucks. I know how you feel a bit, but nowhere near as badly cos I never got mine (I wasn’t even worth a punt, sigh). Here is a big virtual cocktail and virtual pot of fat-free Ben and Jerrys. 😦 x

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