So, I was wrong. The Frenchman has been busy with a work project and sorting out his CV to start job hunting. I got a message from him earlier today, all chirpy and apologetic. I’m happy he’s not lost his job, or died or anything but I’m going to have to say something. Not to nag, but this is not a normal relationship. The distance just magnifies everything, making the good things ace and the bad things fucking dire. Anything could have happened to him. He could’ve come off the road and died (heaven forbid, but the driving over there is just insane) for all I knew. All it takes is a message to say “I’m busy, will catch up with you in a few days”. Grrr. Do guys not think about this stuff? Seriously?

And, OK, maybe there were external factors that didn’t help my mood. Such as one of the girls at my french class on Wednesday telling me how she’d left Portugal to be with her boyfriend here in London after a year apart, only for him to dump her 4 months later, leaving her in a foreign city with no friends and nowhere to live. And perhaps reading the ‘It’s Complicated’ agony aunt whatsit in The Metro which was about a woman who had a long distance relationship with a guy ‘in Europe’ who decided out of the blue that their relationship wasn’t working. Miss Sunshine, I’m blaming that one squarely on you (kidding. Sort of).

So, yeah. My head hasn’t been in the best place over the last couple of days, especially with the pressure of sorting out my edits to send my updated manuscript to this publisher. And, maybe I should explain why I’m not jumping from the roof about it. Last year, they gave me great feedback and told me they were considering it for publication. Fabulous. I was so, so excited. One of the Big Six publishing companies were considering my book. Fast forward months later and they say no. Crushed. It’s this same publisher who got in touch yesterday. Well, they’re creating a new division and have recommended it to the new division for consideration. So I’m trying not to get excited, because frankly, I can’t deal with yet another rejection. I’d decided to stop submitting it and just put it on Kindle. I’ve even forked out for the editing and next was a fab cover. I had no intention of putting it back out there only for it to come back with a big fat no. But, hey, miracles happen. You never know. It could be good news. We’ll see.


2 thoughts on “Sheepish.

  1. Whatever happens, you’re not moving *just* for him – that immediately takes a lot of pressure off – no matter what you’re going to be in France! Also, a lot of long distance relationships don’t work because there’s no end goal of being together – you have that goal and it’s coming! The worst thing that can happen is your heart gets broken. (yes it’s terrible!) BUT you will be in France, you know the language, and you will be surrounded by sexy french men. What’s not to like?? 😛

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