Last night I went for a dinner party with my french language buddy. He’d arranged it so I could get used to being in environments with french people in a group instead of just one on one. I was nervous all week. When I meet people for the first time, I can be quite shy and he’d spoken about inviting around four of his friends.
As it was, he decided to only invite one. It was quite apparent why, since his flat was quite tiny, so with his friend and flatmate, it would have been cramped with yet more people. I have to say, it was a nice evening. His flatmate and friend were lovely, very chatty and so I didn’t feel shy. His work colleague and friend was ridiculously cute. I was even thinking how I could set him up with a friend, until he mentioned his girlfriend. Always the way.
So, the disappointment? I spoke maybe three sentences in french.
When they spoke, I could just about understand what they were saying. Not everything, but enough to get the gist of things and it was much harder listening to his flatmate who speaks with a heavy accent as he’s from Guatemala. Its the first time I’ve been able to pick out the difference in accents. But when it came to me speaking, I reverted to english. It was mostly because I speak so slowly in french that it would ruin the flow of conversation but even while I was speaking, I was thinking to myself ‘speak french you bloomin fool!’. So, I feel a bit deflated. I wanted some practice. I love conversing in french but I need to build my confidence, especially if I’m going to meet The Frenchman’s friends, some of whom speak zero english. I don’t know why I stop myself. My tutor at work assures me that whilst I don’t always use the correct words or tenses, I’m perfectly understandable. I dunno. I kinda wish I could go back to last night and make more of a concerted effort.
Massive, enormous sigh.