So after my last entry, I replied to The Frenchman. I did tell him I was only joking about the apartment, but then I got serious. I outlined what I thought the purpose of our week together was and added that our unknown relationship status was now making me confused. I wasn’t pressuring, I wasn’t whiny, but I was honest. And I asked for him to be honest with me. The reply I got was as follows (summarised):
- An apology
- He has a busy month in February and early March with work and will find out his fate regarding his job around early March. He said he didn’t want me to spend the week there when all of this would be going on.
- A weekend was fine in February, and for a week, he preferred the end of March, after his workload would even out and he’d be more certain about his job.
- Regarding our relationship status, his viewpoint had changed. He was now of the opinion that he thinks he wants a relationship. Or rather, he was counting on me to make him want to continue the relationship we’re in. Winky face. In my reply, I told him this was cheeky and not to start slacking because HE also had to convince ME that this was a relationship worth being in. Between me and you, this is complete balls, we both know that. But he doesn’t.
- Another apology for confusing me, and making me open myself up more than I was comfortable with. I’d told him before it’s hard for me to say what I’m thinking in situations like these.
So, I feel a bit better. We said we’d talk about it properly next week since it would be a lot easier to do in person but on the whole, I’m not stressing now. It seems there’s been some traction on his part but I’m not about to let him off the hook quite that easily. There’s still talking to be done. I have to say though, I feel very proud of myself. Before, I’d have sat stewing about this. What to do? Should I say anything? I don’t want to rock the boat. I quite like how instead of doing that, I’ve just asked the question. It’s saved a lot of analysis and stress and, I hope, cleared things up instead of becoming something bigger than it needed to be. As he said, we had a problem in communication. And I feel quite proud of pressing to get that problem ironed out in a relatively quick manner.
I read another blog tonight from Cotswold Girl: In Which I out-Bridget Bridget Jones. The end of post says “Get a grip. And chill the fuck out’. Apt advice.