Toilet Humour

Ok, last post for now. Last night, an interesting conversation took place while we were out. The floor I work on is heavily female populated and since there’s only three cubicles in the ladies loo, some of us have taken to going a floor up, to the quieter floor. There’s also a full length mirror in there, which is a bonus. Anyway, I’ve often been fascinated and disturbed by some behaviors exhibited in the loos at work. The most irritating one is people speaking on the phone while they’re on the toilet. Unless it’s some kind of emergency (which is never the case) there’s just no need. I certainly wouldn’t want to hear my friend tinkling away while she’s on the phone to me. And only yesterday, some woman was on the phone, in the cubicle, pissing rather loudly and parping away like a trumpet. Yuk.

Besides all this, there’s other unpleasantries. We speak in code sometimes at work and yesterday I learned a new acronym that had me in stitches: SFS or, smelly fanny syndrome. Most disgusting but unfortunately something us ladies can be exposed to in our trips to the office loos. It’s true that some people leave behind a certain whiff, but this story was in the context of a former employee who suffered from this syndrome so badly that apparently it was noticeable outside the toilet. So much so that her boss had to say something about it, resulting in a piece of apparatus being kept in her drawer called a fanny sponge.

Mortifying. And grossly unhygienic. Why not just use wipes? I digress. The point is, I’m (along with an estimated 99.9% of women) a stickler for good personal hygiene. I don’t understand how someone could not know that their cooch is that pungent. And this extends to men. I’ve walked past guys who have that smell. That smelly knob smell and it is most unpleasant. Surely everyone was taught how to properly clean their nether regions? And what would this syndrome (SDS for the guys, SFS for the women) mean for their sex life? I’d imagine it would render it stone cold dead. I know for a fact I wouldn’t let a guy with a smelly penis anywhere near me and frankly if I had a smelly foof I’d expect any potential suitor to run a mile.

I’m aware that some hormonal stuff could play a part in this and that is truly unfortunate but please, people, come on. If you’re going to use public facilities then please be mindful of others.

Thank you.


9 thoughts on “Toilet Humour

  1. My Army buddies and I called it simply Stank Puss. I had post traumatic stress disorder from going down on a chick with SP, and getting a nostril full. Won’t even consider it unless I’m in a regular relationship with a girl.

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