Going Dutch

Flurry of posts! I was speaking about this with colleagues a few days ago. Miss Comeback had a date with a guy a week or so ago and that dreaded moment of the bill arriving for their dinner came. As unfeminist as it is, I expect the man to pay on the first date, especially if he was the one to instigate the date in the first place. Having said that, if it’s kind of obvious during dinner that there’s no spark, then I don’t mind going dutch. There’s no logical equation for this, it’s just one of those things you can sense. After all, a date is, in effect, an investment. Of course, I don’t wait expectantly. I make a move for my purse, even go so far as to take my card out but if he was brought up right, he’ll say he’ll take care of it. In Miss Comeback’s case, this didn’t happen. So they went dutch.


Now this isn’t all bad. What’s bad is that when they moved onto a bar, he ordered his drink and then went to the toilet. Leaving her to pay. Talk about rude. And instant striking off the potential second date list. It’s plain cheeky. Whilst I’m all for paying an equal share, I wouldn’t take kindly to being forced to pay while he’s made himself scarce. Guys, if you’re on a date and out to impress, do NOT do this. And do not ‘forget’ your wallet either. I’m sure most women wouldn’t mind you being late because you had to go back home to get it. All it does is make you look like a cheapskate. And that’s not going to do you any favours.


12 thoughts on “Going Dutch

  1. I would have kindly told the barman that my date had nipped to the bathroom, and that he would take care of the bill. Then I would have calmly strolled out of the bar and ignored any calls or text messages later that evening haha! The going dutch part – that would certainly halt me wanting a second date (if he initiated). The sneakily running off to the toilet – that would have made me cut the first date short and abruptly! Hey – I’m a student, and I’m broke most of the time. I can be a feminist later – when I actually have the cash to!

  2. First dates should be kept to something inexpensive, walk in park, coffee shop, playing bowling or something like that. Dinner is the worst, you eat and get heavy and lazy and it stationary and doesn’t allow much of interaction or vibe…

    Question to your friend, if dinner did not go so well and no chemistry happened, why continue and go to bar?

  3. THANK YOU! I was having just this argument with my friends the other day. Completely agree that if there isn’t going to be a second date then I always go halves. But other than that yes I like it when a man confidently offers to pay, I offer to contribute, and he manfully declines… correct procedure.

  4. You guys are all super feminists when it comes to rights, but when it comes to money and responsibility, “I believe it’s a man’s job.”

    Yes, if you want to impress a woman you should show that you have money to spare, but women shouldn’t expect it.

    I like the little tift when the bill comes, she says, “let me get mine,” I say, “no no, allow me,” she says, “are you sure,” I say, “Well, you did order (whatever she ordered).” Their face before you say you’re kidding is great.

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