**STALKER ALERT**

Maybe slightly extreme. Ok. Remember Mr Clingy? My rebound from last year? Well, he found me on Facebook again thanks to our mutual friends and we had a brief conversation over Facebook messenger. I admit to feeling a bit bad for how I chucked him last year so I took the opportunity to apologise, and basically said I just couldn’t deal with all that intensity. He apologised too and said he didn’t actually want to break up, he just went about it the wrong way by issuing an ultimatum between him and my ex. Which, when the object of your affection is a – rebounding and b – wanting to get back with their ex, is a bad idea. Anywho, we said we’d call it quits – all was well.

Then again, maybe not.

Now that we’re Baitbook friends again, he’s taken to commenting on practically everything I post, in record time, too. Am I on his close friends list or something? It got to the stage where I’ve now added him to my acquaintances list, so I can control what he sees. And before you ask, no, I can’t delete him. I feel really bad deleting anyone from Facebook. I’m a sensitive soul. Since moving him to this list, it’s been good, because my notifications haven’t been blowing up with ‘Mr Clingy commented on this’ or ‘Mr Clingy likes a photo you posted ten fricking years ago’. I told Miss Comeback and Miss Sunshine about it but I don’t think they actually believed me until he liked and commented on a picture Miss Sunshine tagged me in, literally seconds after it was posted. And it was the same last night, when I forgot to change my sharing options on an update – as soon as I posted it, he commented. I actually asked him if he had me on a close friends list because, doesn’t he have anything better to do?

The thing is, we split up A YEAR AGO. We dated for like, two months. I know I’m irresistible but really? (joke). I have no issues with him as a person, he’s a decent guy, but it’s getting to the stage where I want to scream at him to eff the back up and stop smothering me. He knows about Mr Marseilles since he liked my Toulouse pictures and asked why I was there. I might have embellished the truth a bit and said that I was actually in a relationship, but it’s not stopped him. Every other day I’m getting a ‘how are you? x’ message and he’s taken to trying to moan about his problems at me, which he used to do when we were together.

I’m trying to be as nonchalant as I can with him because, if it were me, I’d be thinking ‘wow, Freechick doesn’t want to seem to talk to me AT ALL. Maybe I should just stop torturing myself’ but it doesn’t seem to working. What a palaver.

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