How To Behave Like An Absolute Prick

1. Start dating a girl

2. Sweet talk the pants off her and keep at it for three months

3. Introduce her to your mum and best mate

4. Drop off the radar, be unresponsive and distant for no apparent reason

5. Register on more dating sites, with the same profile name you used when you started talking to the girl you’re currently dating

6. Engage in conversation with a new girl. Tell her you’re actively seeking a relationship and you’ve not dated anyone seriously enough to introduce to your family for over a year, thereby denying you ever dated the girl you’re meant to have been dating for the last three months.

One word: cunt.

That is NOT a word I use lightly. But when you fuck a girl over, you best believe her friends will gun for you too. So here’s my message to you, Mr Mac.

Thanks for treating my friend like an idiot. Thanks for potentially undoing a lot of time convincing her to open herself up to a guy again. And finally, thanks for living up to that age old stereotype that all men are the same.

And here’s a message to you, Miss Sunshine. You’re a beautiful, caring, intelligent, kind and funny human being. He clearly didn’t deserve you. Don’t let this experience put you off finding the man of your dreams. You will always be his one that got away. And karma is a bitch.

xxx

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