There has never been a better time to think about spicing up your sex life. The explosion of Fifty Shades of Grey has impacted just about every aspect of sexual thinking here in the UK. A lot of this stuff is fairly normal, but a conversation with my own Mr Grey got me thinking today. A while back, I suggested a burlesque show for a date. I didn’t think anything of it – burlesque is hugely popular nowadays – but he said it wasn’t his thing. Fair enough. Then, today, I suggested we go to see a circus show. It’s billed as being decadent and titillating, but also fun. His reaction was ‘hmmmm’. The word ‘decadent’ reminded him of a scene in The Inbetweeners film where a guy performs self-fellatio.
Funnily enough, while we were discussing the use of safe words last week, he said he thought I was prim and proper. All I could do was laugh. He had no idea how wrong he was. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no BDSM enthusiast, but I’m definitely not prim and proper. The friends I told about this laughed too. Enough said. But it has made me think. I’m a fan of trying things at least once, but I’m now wondering if some things are going to be too left-field for him? Most guys I’ve encountered tend to have that side to them where you just know that at some point, they’re going to get all dirty on you. I kinda thought most men were like this but now I’m not sure.
Yesterday, I went shopping with Miss Sunshine for a dress – it’s her birthday next week and we’re double dating this weekend. Since I wanted to go the whole hog and get a suspender belt (the double date includes a hotel stay over), we wandered into Harmony and Ann Summers. Besides the paddles, whips, butt plugs and vibrators, were pairs of love balls. Of course we bought a pair each and I fully intended on letting Mr Grey know about my purchase. Hmmm. I’m thinking I might keep that nugget of information to myself a bit longer.
The thing is, I don’t think my idea of ‘decadence’ when it comes to sex matches his. What springs to my mind is light bondage, sexy lingerie and an emphasis on sensuality and fully engaging all five senses. His on the other hand seems to be…self fellatio? Big disconnect. Of course I took the piss out of him for this and told him I fully intend to tease him this weekend, both verbally and physically. It should be good fun. I bloody hope so. I like him a lot but this could be a deal breaker. I’m all for vanilla loving but if there’s no naughtiness, I know what I’m like and my attention will wane.
Here’s hoping my Mr Grey becomes a little bit more Mr Grey-like.