There Were Three In The Bed….

Picture the scene. You’re lying cuddling and kissing in bed in a lovely post coital glow. Then to add to this lovely picture there’s a glow from your lovers phone. It’s a text. From the ex.

Sigh.

I had a lovely night with Mr Grey last night before he goes away for a few days, and after indulging in a bit of the other, the above happened. It’s becoming a bit of a habit that his phone will beep with a message from his ex when we’re together. This time she texted something trivial, something that no right minded person would text their ex. Not when there’s technology that can tell that person the same thing. When he told me it was a message from her, I said the ‘oh, ok’ and rolled over to check my own phone.

I should say that the green eyed monster does make an appearance now and then with me. And it’s starting to make its presence known. I already struggle to understand just how Mr Grey can be so amiable with the woman that not only broke his heart but did so in the most humiliating way. They have kids together, I get that, and so there will always be contact between them, but she seems to have a lot of access to him. I’m trying to keep things in check. It’s not attractive to have someone nagging jealously – trust me, I know. And we’re not ‘exclusively dating’ in so much as it hasn’t been said out loud. I’m just hoping that when things do get ‘official’, some boundaries will be set.

It’s put me in a bit of a foul mood this morning, which is a shame. It would be nice to spend some together without him having to cut things short thanks to his ex. They split a couple of years ago so I’m not thinking there’s a possibility of them getting back together – he’d need his head checking if they did. So that’s something I suppose.

I’m getting to the stage where I’m thinking certain conversations need to be had. There are some things he’s reluctant to talk about, plus, there’s the fact he’s unable to have more kids – a choice he himself made. When you’re 28 and hoping to settle down, this is a very important thing.

Why can’t things ever be straight forward?

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23 thoughts on “There Were Three In The Bed….

  1. I think you make it sound worse than it is and things are straight forward.

    Sure it sucks, but in a way it is good that this happening, because if there is something shady goes on, you want to know about it now rather than later on. In a way seeing things like that in the beginning is good, because it helps us to screen and evaluate person and make decisions.

    • I’m not sure if I think there’s anything shady going on. It’s more about feeling annoyed that she’s so present, and not understanding how he can be so friendly with her, though I know there’s some necessity to it

      • Are you trying to tell me that everything is ok and you know that everything ok, but you still not happy with it? lol

        They have kids together, it makes more sense to keep things good than to keep them bad, he owns it at least to kids.

      • I’d never begrudge time with his kids. Ever. I grew up with an absent dad and I’d never wish it on anyone. I know how much he loves them 🙂 and I’d probably be less attracted to him if he was the kind of guy who didn’t spend time with them. I don’t want to publish how he split with his wife, it just seems like she’s having her cake and eating it. And it makes me mad because I care for him and she hurt him badly. To be honest I don’t think he’s dated seriously since they split up so this is new ground but there is the feeling of him still being part of her new family that he plays and while I suppose it’s fine while he’s single, there has to be boundaries when he’s not. If that makes sense. It’s definitely not a case of feeling that his kids are in the way but he has an arrangement with her that she seems to stepping over when she needs to. This is the first time I’ve dated a dad (who spend a lot of time with his kids anyway) so this is new to me too.

      • But, in terms of whether things are ok, they are in so far as I don’t feel threatened by her in terms of their relationship status. I know I’ll always come second to his kids, that’s fine and normal, but he has told me himself she sometimes seems to forget that they’re no longer a couple. She just relies on him a lot, when she has additional support she can call upon instead – if you get my drift. It’s complicated lol

      • I see

        Seems like lots of thought and emotions on your mind.

        Just be careful, his ex probably territorial and might not like to split his resources with another woman and might try to sabotage for you guys.

        Make sure you draw the boundaries when the talk comes.

        Maybe going to Paris was not such bad idea, it still not late you know lol (just kidding)

      • Lol I’m always thoughtful and emotional 😉 as for his ex…let’s just say she is where she is. When you walk away from something you can’t still lay claim to it. She might be territorial but…she made the choice she made and she should be prepared for the fact he’ll meet someone else.

        It was Marseilles, not Paris 😉 but no, I made the right choice not to go. I really like him…this is just a learning curve, that’s all

      • I could. I do over analyse. But if you just started seeing someone and their phone was buzzing with messages from their ex, including at 11pm, would you not have a question or two?

      • No I wouldn’t.It’kd make me comes off as needy and insecure as a guy.You have to remember,I’m a pick-up artists.It’s against out rules to get needy or clingy with women we’re not officially dating.But in any other case,you would be right.Plus chics are highly sensitive so it makes sense
        Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel

      • This is true. Women are more sensitive. I’m really trying not to get toooooo het up about it, but if it continues if things get serious I will have to say something. His friend knows about the situation and he even agrees there needs to be some boundaries, so I’m not alone in thinking it!

      • But yall are not exclusive.This’ what I don’t get about chic logics(which doesn’t make sense).Free Chick,you can go forcing exclusivity on a guy.He’s either gonna rebel or give in,but sneak around.
        Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel

      • Erm…I’m not trying to force anything. I’m simply saying that it’s something that makes me feel uncomfortable. Given what he’s told his friends, I’d feel quite comfortable to say that although we haven’t had that chat (which most of the time never even actually happens anyway) things are certainly heading that way. I’m kind of thinking that things are done very differently in the States. Thank god I don’t live there lol I would not be cut out for that!!

      • You’re right;relationships are never really planned or thought out.They just happen with the girl leading it by later down the line saying something like this to the guy,”Soooo,are we together”?
        Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel

      • Nah it’s cool lol.Of course guys in the US are the same.This’ almost universal.The average man is weak and insecure.No matter where you go.Not saying that whenever a guy initiates the chat,it means he’s insecure.But when he’s doing it out of fear of losing the girl(as most men do),it’s an issue.
        Sent from my BlackBerry® device from Digicel

      • That’s true. It should be because you want that person to yourself, because you feel strongly about them, not because you’re afraid of competition. In an ideal world it wouldn’t be needed anyway but these days you just don’t know how many women/men your date’s seeing or sleeping with at the same time as you. And even the ‘chat’ won’t safeguard against that!

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