Whirlwinds and Confusion

I’ve been very quiet blog wise lately. That’d be the whirlwind. Following my first date with Mr Grey, I ended up going on another three dates with him last week, and already onto two dates this week so far. Of course, this included sleep-overs. So much for behaving! For someone I’ve known for such a short space of time, I have to say, I like him. A lot. It’s nice to meet someone who’s in touch with themselves and also gets me and my, frankly weird, sense of humour. Smitten. An added benefit is that thanks to his friend dating my friend, I’m getting tit-bits of feedback and signs are pointing to him feeling the same way. After another marathon text conversation tonight, he’s told me he’s crazy about me. Big, fat smile.

Now for the confusion. I haven’t forgotten about The Frenchman and believe me when I say that for the last week to ten days, I’ve been stressing about what to do. Let’s be honest, France would be a downright dirty weekend. Contrary to my Playing the Game post, I know I’m not capable of sleeping with two guys at the same time (separately, obviously). Multiple dating, yes, but sexually, no. I’ve been so stressed out about it that my period was a week late, which never happens. Ever. I can’t even tell you the amount of thinking I’ve done over this but in the end, I’ve decided not to go.

Not everyone agrees with my decision and if it were me, I’d be saying ‘of course you should go.’ I’m not ‘exclusively’ dating either one of them and I have only known Mr Grey for a few weeks. However, I know myself very well. I know that if I went to France, I’d be stressed the whole time because clearly The Frenchman would be expecting something. And I do like Mr Grey. A friend pointed out that if it went nowhere I’d have lost The Frenchman and I’d end up on my own. And she’s right, I would. But, the fact is that I like him enough to risk it. If this does go somewhere with Mr Grey, I’d rather not have it start with my own guilt, and guilt is what I’d feel. As soon as I told The Frenchman, I felt miles better. So much better that my late period came the day after. Go figure. He was understanding about it. He knows the distance is a factor, and has said the invitation is still open, but if I’m feeling confused then I shouldn’t go. We’re still emailing, though the heat has gone out of the conversations. Mr Grey knew I was going to France, but not why, and last night he brought it up so I told him. Obviously I kept it light – I didn’t want him to think I was a bunny boiler, and he said he’d have been gutted if I’d have gone and done anything.

I’m prepared to end up with egg on my face if that’s what happens. Which I really hope never comes to pass.

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13 thoughts on “Whirlwinds and Confusion

  1. With all the talk about game and dating, and you did not go, such a disappointment (just kidding LOL)

    On a serious note however, I think you like the Grey and can see yourself with him, not going to France is much better decision than going. If things work out your relationships will be built on honesty and on being open.

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