I nearly fell off my chair at work on Monday. Mr Double-Barrel messaged me. Apparently his phone died. He apologised for not coming back to me and I replied in a (I hope) nonchalent way, adding that I thought he’d lost interest. He assured me he hadn’t but rather he’s been lying low due to lack of funds. I’m not the kind of girl that needs to spend money to have a good time and I told him so. Now it just so happens that we’re enjoying a heatwave over here at the moment (this week will probably be all we’ll get for summer) and I suggested having a picnic in the park. It’s cheap, near enough free, and we’d get to chill out in the sunshine. I think he’s trying to do me a mischief because he messaged me yesterday asking if we could meet up today. Seems he was being serious but I resolved not to get too excited until the time he called me to confirm, just in case I got let down again. He didn’t let me down. He called at midday like he said he would and so we headed to the park this afternoon.
He wasn’t joking when he said he was broke until his flat sale goes through, but we still had fun. He doesn’t like going anywhere not having any money, which I get because I hate going out with an empty purse. So I reminded him that we live in one of, if not the best cities in the world. There’s always something to do in London and if you look hard enough, free stuff too. We spoke about going to the science museum for our next date because he loves it and I’ve never been, and also an open air cinema. The signs were all good. He also apologised for skipping out on me last week and assured me it wasn’t because he was losing interest. We did speak about the festival (remember that). He was pretty upfront about the fact his ex was going. The four of them are essentially doing all the work needed between them to get the work done. I’m not going to say what because this is anonymous after all, but I got it. He’s friends with all his exes but he did say he was worried about it being a bit awkward while they’re there. It seems this ex (at the moment anyway) is nothing to feel too threatened by…we’ll see.
The billion dollar question – did I mention the fact I’d bought a ticket? No. I had the opportunity to, but I couldn’t think of a way of bringing it up without sounding stalker-ish. It is something that’ll get raised, no doubt about that, but I chose to keep quiet on that one for the moment. Did he ask if I was still up for going? No. And I’d have been pissed off about that if he hadn’t told me exactly what they’ll be getting up to. I’d probably get drafted into helping out and if I’m honest (and a bit selfish) I’m not sure I’d want to. Don’t get me wrong, a few hours work each day isn’t the problem, more that this is a business thing and if the work’s not done right then I wouldn’t want to be the one at fault. That and I wouldn’t want to feel like a 5th wheel. Whether he’s entirely comfortable going with his ex and essentially being a foursome or not, a fivesome just wouldn’t work.
He’s a strange one. Again, he said all the right things. He was sweet as a nut and the time flew. He thinks we have a connection. He told me this when he laughed about a text I’d sent him a couple of weeks ago. I can’t deny that I like him. I do. A lot. We seem to click, we laugh, share the same humour. He’s a perfect gent when we meet up and I feel relaxed around him. But at the same time I know what I’m like and I don’t want to get hurt by getting too involved with someone who doesn’t want the same things I do. I asked him if he’d ever get married again, have more kids etc, and he said he would. He’s at the age now where he wants to settle down. But, and there’s always a but, his focus right now is on making money and he’s even started looking for a regular job to supplement his income.
Now Miss Sunshine will smile here. She gave me a book to read a few days ago, spelling out the difference between men and women. I could get engaged, have kids, whatever right now (if I had someone to do all that with) regardless of my financial situation. With him (and men in general according to this book) I’m not so sure. Not that I’m actually saying I want to get married and have kids right now, mind. I didn’t straight up ask him ‘what is it you’re looking for’ because, honestly, I think it’s too early to do so. So this has to be next on my list because I need to know what I’m getting myself into here, or not, as the case may be. And yeah, it’s a bit hypocritical I guess because if someone asked me what I wanted, I’d have to say I don’t know. After all, I did only split up with my ex last year (almost a year ago – mental) and my sensible side says I should be staying single for a long time yet but the other side is saying if I meet someone then what’s the harm. I’m not going out and actively looking for a boyfriend/husband, but I’m not averse to it either. It’s all very confusing. I never really gave that much thought about how complex single life, dating and everything in between actually is. No wonder there are so many self help books out there.
On balance though, I had a nice day. I chilled in the sunshine with a hot guy, had a nice lunch and a few cheeky kisses. It’s not really something to complain about and it definitely beats a day in the office…