Today, mainly because I’ve been stupidly in need of a good seeing to, I realised that I can’t think what my best ever sex was.
That’s bad, right?
I mean, I’ve had some amazing sex, I know that I have. It’s just that I can’t remember it. I was with my ex for such a long time and we had a healthy sex life, more or less daily, but as is the way of things, a lot of it was standard. Even still, nothing in particular is jumping out at me.
OK, let’s get some perspective here. I’ve never had that bad sex, but is it weird that I can’t pinpoint anything specific? I’ll be honest, the partners I’d had before my ex weren’t anything fantastic, so I can’t count them. And I know there was some really good sex with the ex, I remember that. I remember going at it full pelt til we were sweaty many a time, especially at the beginning of our relationship, but it’s bugging me that there isn’t one specific time that stands out. What does that say about my sex life?
Since my ex, I had a brief summer fling and while the sex was good, it wasn’t anything fantastic. He seemed to lose his erection a lot and we never moved harmoniously and he liked to pound away, so I can’t count him. The one night stand I had before Christmas was good, but being a one night stand, he didn’t know what I liked and so, yes, I faked it. I know. I’m hanging my head in shame, but I didn’t know what else to do since he was clearly waiting for it, and it just wasn’t about to happen. Mr Soldier was good, great in fact, but there were nerves on both sides and since he’s away now I’ll have to wait before I get to road test him again.
Maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but most people I’ve had this kind of conversation with seem to be able to bring up a time they recall as being their best. So why can’t I? It feels like if I have to put effort into thinking about what my best was, then it couldn’t have been THAT fantastic.