So, I was going to write about my encounter with Mr Soldier, but that will have to wait. I’ve just got off the phone to my ex’s best friend’s girlfriend (keep up!). Fortunately for me, she’s had a couple of glasses of vino and her tongue was a bit loose. Turns out, my ex has now progressed from Coke to Ketamine and, wait for it, crystal meth. WTF.
Maybe I was naive but there were certain drugs I was positive he’d never try. I mean, horse tranquilisers? Really? He’d always made noise about them being dirty drugs, but now he’s talking about being in a ‘K-hole’ and bragging about taking meth. I had no idea what a K-Hole was, so I had to Google it. Suffice to say, it sounded like the usual out of body, psychedelic trip associated with hallucinogens. As for the meth…well…I’ve seen enough pictures of meth heads to know what that does.
He has a drugs buddy, a woman I’ve known about for a while and apparently he’s spending weekends holed up at hers, getting off his face and sleeping with her sister – who he’s termed his K-Whore.
My head is reeling a bit. He has an addictive personality anyway and I know what he’s like. He has no limits when it comes to drugs or alcohol. He can keep going til the end, and what will his end be? An overdose on a cocktail of Class A drugs? A coma? A heart attack? What scares me most is that he knows what he’s doing is wrong. He knows its killed his relationship and is eating away at his money. But yet he continues, which says to me that something drastic is going to have to happen for him to snap out of it because he’s not the kind of person that will get bored and decide to get back on the straight and narrow.
I’m trying not to think the worst. I saw him on the way to work the other day and he looked normal. Maybe he does have it all under control. But part of me wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake the living daylights out of him. We may not be together any more but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him. The worst thing is knowing that with him, there are no limits. He’ll always chase the unattainable and push himself as far as he can. The only thing I can do is pray for him, and I’m really not that religious. I just hope he finds his way before he really finds himself in a bind.