What an eventful weekend. Far too much to pack into one blogpost, so let’s talk about Friday. The rest can come later. It was Mr Music’s drinks and he liked his present (phew). But I didn’t get anywhere near him because he has a stalker. When he told me he had a girl on his case, I laughed and kinda shrugged him off in a ‘you wish’ kind of way. Suffice to say, he was not joking. She put my Mr Clingy to shame. As a woman and fellow human being, I cannot even begin to comprehend how someone could not have enough pride to know when to admit defeat and walk away.
From the moment she arrived, Mr Music was cornered. Every time we looked over, she was hanging off him. Literally. Body language is a pretty expressive thing and when the guy you’re physically pawing at is turning away from you and telling you he’s not interested and it’s not going to happen, it’s a sure sign that he is just not that into you. Three times Mr Music asked me to go out for a smoke, to chat cheese and get fresh air. Three times we walked out of the bar. Three times, the Bunny Boiler followed. It got to the stage when we started ignoring her and still, she stuck around. I could understand if this was the result of a recent break up, but no – this is as a result of a fling that happened years ago. Worse, she now has a boyfriend. Doubly worse, she lives with him.
By the end of the night we were all pissed off. It was our friend’s birthday and we’d hardly seen him because she’d been pawing away at him, trying to convince him that she loved him and he loved her. Now, I’d already told her (because she asked what I thought) that he obviously didn’t like her. I can separate my platonic and lustful feelings for him, so it wasn’t sabotage. It was pity. I really pitied this woman who so clearly didn’t see what everyone else could. I’d already told her that he’s not paying her any attention and she should let it go. As we left the bar, she went a bit doollally and laid into him. And that’s when things got really, really awkward because I’ll never stand and watch a mate get spoken to like that, especially since he’d been pretty clear the whole night. So I stuck up for him and yes, I might have been a touch rude. I’ll always have his back and I told him so. But mostly, I was hungry. It was the end of the night, we wanted to eat and go our separate ways, but me and my friend could see that this woman was not taking no for an answer. And when she said ‘I thought I could sleep on your floor’, I looked at Mr Music’s bewildered blue eyes and cringed inside. The ridiculous thing was, she said to me and my friend ‘I’m really not a desperate woman’ – clearly that was not the case. My friend and I had even reached the stage of thinking drastic action was needed. I was seriously considering pulling him right in front of her because surely that would have got the message across? And OK, there’d have been something in it for me too. However, I’m not that much of a bitch and in the end, she got shooed away while Mr Music and I collected our food, leaving us to eat and finally go home.
It’s well known that desperation is like man-repellant, but this was off the scale. It was pure Glenn Close, Fatal Attraction, Bunny Boiling antics. I can’t believe that I was in such a tizzy over a couple of texts I’d sent him a while back because compared to her, I was tame. It was funny, I couldn’t not laugh. But I was also mightily fucked off. Mr Music and I had made plans to carry the night on, and through a combination of bad luck and his stalker, it didn’t happen, and who knows when we’ll meet up again. The crazy girls are the ones who fuck it up for the rest of us but one thing I do know, is that I don’t partake in stalker-ish behaviour. Mr Music has a way with the lady-folk, even though he doesn’t understand why. At least I’ll be going into whatever may or may not happen with my eyes open – no way am I ending up like the crazy stalker lady. But this isn’t the first time he’s had girls go crazy over him. He must have a cock made of gold or chocolate something. Hmmm…