I had a very interesting thought today after reading a fellow blogger’s post. Someone had asked for an opinion on how a guy would know if a girl was still into him, and the reply she gave was very different to mine. Neither of us were right or wrong, but it did get me thinking about how on earth guys are really meant to know how we feel about them if we don’t communicate it with words.
Having looked online, the most common signs that a female is flirting with you are:
- physical contact e.g. touching a guys arm while laughing at his joke
- playing with hair/fidgeting with something
- mimicking body movements
- isolating herself
This, to me, is nothing new. It’s almost like a second nature to know certain ‘tells’ when someone likes you through a combination of personal experience and media influences. But what if you don’t behave in this way? Like, for instance, me.
It may be that my judgement is being clouded by the image of a sweet, demure girl twiddling her hair and throatily laughing at a guys crap jokes, but my style of flirting can be quite…well…confusing for a guy I think. I can be really quite sharp. My sense of humour is what you’d call caustic and even though I’ll smile when I’m giving you some acidic remarks, it wouldn’t surprise me if some guys had zero idea that I was flirting with them. I’ll always retort, usually sarcastically. I love a good battle of the minds. That, to me, is my biggest ‘tell’. If I’m giving you the time of day and we’re exchanging in a game of verbal tennis that would put Serena and Venus Williams to shame, you can almost guarantee I fancy the pants off you.
Not only am I quite insulting, but my version of bodily contact is more likely to be in the form of me swatting your arm, upside the head or shoving into you than anything else. A bit like a little boy would tug on a little girls hair if he fancied her. Clearly, I’m a wee bit strange. I don’t isolate myself either. If a guy is going to make a move on me, he’d better be comfortable approaching me no matter what group I’m with. Doesn’t mean we have to stand in the middle of my friends while we talk, but don’t expect me to sidle off the corner of the room like a damsel in distress. If we’re talking one to one and we’re in a loud place, chances are, I wont even be looking at you. I’ll have my ear as close to your mouth as possible while I’m looking in the other direction. Why? Because personally, I like to use as many of my senses as possible. I want to hear your voice, I want to feel your breath. I’m not bothered about staring intently as your plump lips open for you to say something brilliant.
I’ll accept the smiling and fidgety behaviour, I think that’s fairly normal. Who talks to someone without smiling if they’re attracted to them? And who would sit stock still chatting to someone? It’s pretty rare. But it still doesn’t detract from the fact that even though you can display the tell-tale signs, you can so easily confuse a guy if your style of flirting is a little off, like mine. Unless you find someone who flirts back in the same way, and that’s where the fun is, for me anyway. We’re all human and to some extent we will all use the same body language when placed in a certain situation, but my advice to any guys out there…just make a move. Trust your gut. What’s the worst that could happen?